Not Having All the Answers…and Being Okay with It

Question by  tj scenes.  Shared under a Creative Commons License.

When I was a kid, my nickname was “I KNOW.”  I know, that’s hard to imagine.

Oops…there I go again. 😉

I got that nickname for notoriously interrupting everyone’s explanations with, “I know…I know…” I didn’t need help understanding the law of gravity or how to drive a car or how to do algebraic equations….I just knew that stuff. Naturally.

Okay, that might be a bit of an exaggeration. I obviously didn’t know everything (as evidenced by my inability to do algebraic equations to this day). However, I prided myself so much on the random tidbits of information that I did know–the stuff that made me a killer Quiz Bowl teammate or Jeopardy contestant wannabe–that it was hard to admit when I didn’t understand something or if I needed help. 

Some would say that in my twenty-something years of being a Christian, my thirty-something years of sitting through numerous sermons/Sunday School lessons, and in my 14 years of being married to a pastor that I should have this God stuff figured out by now.

I don’t.

Quite honestly, the more that I study, I find that I have more questions than answers. The hardest part for me has not been not knowing the answers, but being okay with not knowing the answers. Eventually, I had let go of my compulsion to always be right or have my beliefs wrapped up in a pretty box with a bow on top. If I think for a moment that I’m supposed to be able to completely understand the mind of God or His purposes/plan/methods, then I have exalted myself as being equal with Him. That’s grounds for crucifixion, my friends, and I’m pretty sure only one Guy could accurately make those claims.

One of the things that I most respect about my husband (as a pastor) is his ability to sometimes say “I don’t know” when asked a question. He’ll spend time studying it further or, when all else fails, he’ll use his red phone that has a direct line to God (I wish!), but there are plenty of questions that have no definitive answers, plenty of times when a best quess may be the only thing he has to offer in the end. 

Is it exasperating to think that I will spend all of my days on earth chasing God and never fully understanding Him? Yes, but there is also great freedom in that thought as well.

I’m never going to have all the answers…but I’m okay with that. After all, what good is a faith that requires no faith?

 

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7 Responses to Not Having All the Answers…and Being Okay with It

  1. Great post! I have an ‘I Know’ kid living in my house.
    -FringeGirl

  2. Mitchell says:

    Hi there, the desire to be heard and right and not wanting to not know are all rooted in pride. We try to appear a certain way to people because we want them to have a good opinion of us. It is manipulation. Trying to get them to like us by showing off our wit or some other attribute.

    If we are going out of our way to give reason for people to like and accept us then we might have a problem with our own self-image.

    The only person that really matters in this life has a good opinion of us. so if we doubt Him or need more validation then we have to purge our hearts.

    Who cares whether we know everything, God chooses the lowly things from the world and raises them up. He doesn’t need our help. And He won’t raise us up if we are trying to do it for Him.

    If God loves you then who cares what the rest of the world thinks.

    I used to be the person you talk about and it is no fun. It is bondage. Always having to prove myself to the world and to myself. It was rooted in self centeredness and insecuirty. You feel you have to earn everything, hoping for validation. That thinking turns away grace. Grace is a free gift from God.

    Do you have a hard time forgiving yourself? You hold yourself to a high standard and then when you fail you are really disappointed?

    God accpets us and there is NOTHING we could do to earn anything from God. He is the King of the Universe, who are we?

    Let God love on you and don’t try to earn anything from Him. Then you will love and accept yourself and you will have more intimacy in your relationships too.

    *I am speaking to your readers, this may not apply to you.

    Blessings

    • Megan says:

      I absolutely 100% agree with you, Mitchell! I’m a recovering know-it-all and I can speak from experience that it IS bondage, it IS rooted in pride/insecurity, and it IS miserable. The older I get, the more I’m starting to really understand that I my validation should come through Christ alone.

      Thanks for stopping by!

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