Confessions of a Preacher’s Wife


Diary by  kevinspencer.  Adapted and shared under a Creative Commons License.

1. I sometimes find it hard to concentrate on the sermon. It’s hard to resist a man in a suit (if said man is your husband)

2. I may not know your name/who you are, but I will smile and act like I do. “Fake it until you make it,” is my motto. I reserve the right to give you a private nickname until I figure out your real name. Once, I gave nicknames to an entire search committee: Bald Man, Poofy-Haired Lady, Old Man, and The-Woman-That-Owned-That-One-Store, etc. Never fear: I eventually learned their names, and I will eventually learn yours, too. Please have mercy on my forgetful brain. Unlike The Husband (who somehow was blessed with superhuman name-recall powers), I am much better with faces than names. I’ll get there…eventually! 

3. I feel guilty if I miss a church service, even if it is for a valid reason.

4. I’m afraid that my kids will get tired of being “drug to church” or start feeling resentment and/or disillusionment with the church…but I bet I’d feel the same way even if I weren’t a minister’s wife.

5. I sometimes say things that make people go all bug-eyed on me…like the time I called the Samaritan woman a “hoochie mama” during Sunday School. Also, there was a night when we were hanging out with a bunch of friends from church (deacons included) and I called someone a “prick.” In my defense, I was in my early twenties and thought it was another word for “punk.” After the immediate scolding from my husband and the explosion of laughter from everyone else, I learned the urban dictionary definition. So apparently, I am a loose cannon waiting to explode at every inopportune time. A ministry liability, if you will. Sorry, Husband! 😉

6. I have never, ever served on a church committee. On one hand, it’s great that I don’t have to be that one “go-to” person who fills in the gaps (it happens a lot for pastor’s wives, especially in smaller churches). On the other hand, I kind of feel left out.

7. The church directory? The one with photographs? I don’t care how old and outdated it is, it’s a preacher’s wife’s best friend. (See #2).

8. I feel enormous pressure to have my children spit-polished and on their best Emily Post-approved behavior at all times….even though they like to throw temper-tantrums or pout or talk with their mouths full on occasion like every other normal kid on the planet. 

9. I also feel a lot of pressure to bring really delicious food to potlucks, especially meat-based dishes. I don’t know why. I fear having too many desserts and not enough protein, I suppose.

10. When my husband first became a pastor after leaving youth ministry (I was in my mid-twenties), I mourned. I sincerely thought that I needed to clean out my closet and start shopping at Sears. I believed that in order to be a preacher’s wife, one must exchange t-shirts for “blouses” and jeans for polyester dress pants. Thank GOODNESS I didn’t act on those feelings and they eventually blew over. That would have been disastrous.

11. I sometimes resent people for dying and/or having a crisis at an inconvenient time. Isn’t that horrible? Many times, our family plans have been postponed or rearranged due to funerals or whatnot. I know people aren’t deliberately trying to sabotage my arrangements, but it’s so frustrating, especially if we didn’t really know the person that passed. My PK friend told me a story about the time her father had three back-to-back funerals, causing them to postpone their vacation for a week (or maybe causing them to miss it all together?). Now, my greatest fear is getting a call of some sort as we are leaving for our annual much-needed vacation. I would be devastated if that happened. And yes, I do feel like a terrible, selfish person for feeling this way.

12. I don’t like to be called “Preacher’s Wife” or “Pastor’s Wife” in lieu of my real name. I mean, if someone said, “I was talking to the preacher’s wife…” because he couldn’t remember my name, that’s perfectly acceptable. However, if you say, “How are you, Pastor’s Wife?”…that makes me clench my teeth a little. Would you like me to refer to you as “Accountant’s Husband” or “Car Dealer’s Wife?” Megan is fine, thanks! 🙂 

13. Being miles away from family can be tough, especially when you can’t get away on weekends (because of church) to visit. I am so thankful that our church family always steps up and acts as surrogate family to us. I’ve had people deliver soup and Gatorade when we’ve all been puking with a stomach bug. I’ve had several ladies who have become stand-in grandma’s to my girls. I always have a person or two that I can count on to be my emergency contacts. You’ll never know how much that means to us–that people are willing to fill in our family gaps.

14. I can’t think of one other profession where, when you move to a new place, you have instant connections, instant family. It’s great!

15. Being a preacher’s wife? It’s actually a pretty good life.



Got any confessions you need to make? (You don’t even have to be a preacher’s wife). Come on…this is a safe place. 😉

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19 Responses to Confessions of a Preacher’s Wife

  1. Amy says:

    #12 see #2 LOL

    I am afraid of the preacher’s wife. Seriously.

  2. Pop says:

    You didn’t spell a word right. Spelling was never your thing:)

    • Megan says:

      Spell check and the urban dictionary both agree with my spelling choices. Need I remind you that I have a small goldish trophy proclaiming me as 1st Grade Spelling Champion?? 🙂

  3. Oh my goodness! I could have written this post!!! I agree with everything…well, I didn’t call the Samaritan woman a “hoochie-momma”, but I did recently tell a pastor that his Sunday School lessons for children sucked. Bad choice of words. I heard a pin drop….drop….drop.

    Ok, I wrote this about people not using my name and just introducing me as “the pastor’s wife.” It got me into trouble.

    I also wrote something about cooking for potlucks, but I really, really got into trouble for that one. I can’t even find it. Must’ve deleted it, but I still think it was funny.

    Well, my confession…Hmmm… I found a pair of sun-bleached panties in my car once. My panties. I found them right after my husband had driven around a car full of preachers. At least one of them must have seen it. So embarrassing.

    Another confession – I like to have fun, even though I am married to the preacher. So please invite me over to pray, but also invite me to go shopping. I like to have fun too!

    I SO wish we had a church directory with pictures. 😉
    This is such a great post!

    • Megan says:

      Oh. my. word. That post cracked me up. I especially enjoyed this tid-bit:

      You can imagine how people flocked toward me bearing gifts of hotdogs, coke, and chips. They fought over the empty seat next to mine and delighted as my children engaged in play with their offspring. NOT!

      I really have nothing against the term “preacher’s wife” (it’s pretty accurate, after all), but it frustrates me when people who actually know my name call me that instead. KWIM?

      As for the panties…you’re a lucky one. The preacher guys that usually hang out with my Hubby would have tortured me with endless jokes if that had happened to me. Seriously, we’re still rehashing the same ol’ scenarios 10 years later. LOL!

  4. Melody says:

    Oh my word, Megan, this is hilarious. I was really thinking about you the other day. I’ve been swamped the last few weeks and haven’t been blogging as much and I have missed reading your blog. This was so great to read. I just love being able to relate to other PW. Don’t you want to plan and lead a pastor’s wife conference in NC sometimes? I would do all the dirty work and you just come and show up and speak. How about it? You could read this for our opener “gotta make ’em laugh and break the ice” kind of thing. Actually we would break ALL the conference rules the entire time. Every last blasted one of them. HAaaa!!! I’m half kidding.

    • Megan says:

      I’ve been swamped, too, and my blog reading has suffered, so I know what you mean. As for a NC conference…how close are you to the beach? LOL! I’m a terrible speaker, but I’d definitely come just to break all the conference rules! Sounds like fun to me! 🙂

  5. Brenda says:

    Megan, Your post is hilarious and it is what I have come to love about you guys the very most. You are just regular people with normal acting kids and you have totally changed my perception of what the ‘pastor’s family” is like – for the better I might add!!!

  6. Carrie says:

    SO, anything I should be aware of, since I’m becoming a youth pastor’s wife, dear, wisdom bearing, big sis o’ mine?

  7. got2havefaith says:

    I like #1. A woman who thinks her husband is hot is nice to hear…even if you are doing it in church (geez) 😉 It’s interesting to hear your feelings of guilt and wanting your kids to be “perfect” for appearances…cause that is ALL of us!

    • Megan says:

      I guess that’s true about all parents wanting their kids to “appear” to be perfect….I just feel like there are 200 sets of eyeballs on me since I sit on the second pew to the left. I’m so self-consumed–LOL!

  8. Megan – I love this post so much. I am stealing your idea and using this for a Minister’s Wives thing I have going on this week. It is GREAT!

    My confession: I don’t always look forward to attending church on Sundays. Truthfully, there have been some Saturdays I’ve cried because “tomorrow’s coming.”

  9. Pingback: Advice for Ministry Newbies | Faith Like Mustard

  10. Cathy says:

    I have been a pw for 28yrs. The ongoing joke is that I never signed up for this because my husband “felt the call” after we were married haha. I totally get your blog which basically is “we are just normal people and want to be treated as such!”. I am speaking at our women’s ministry tonight and was actually “googling” pw to see if anyone else feels like i do. what a joy to find out that i am not the only one 🙂

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